Rooted in Obedience

When I decided to start this blog, I had a very specific mission in mind. I wanted to be a voice for those who may be wrestling with doubts in their faith or struggling to endure ongoing trials. I write from a place of understanding and humility, not from a place of having it all figured out. My hope is that this space feels honest and relatable, not polished or performative. If you’re walking through your own season of waiting, doubt, or confusion, this is a safe place to grow in your faith without fear of failure or feelings of inadequacy.

Less than a month ago, I was in a completely different season than the one I’m in now. I was in a constant state of worry as I awaited a decision on my disability case, always carrying the weight of uncertainty and finances. After nearly two years of fighting, everything changed the day before Thanksgiving when my disability was finally approved. In that moment, I broke down in tears, thanking God for the blessing He had provided for my family and me. The blessing may have been financial, but the lesson was spiritual.

Before my disability was approved, I returned to teaching Sunday school, something I had stepped away from multiple times before. There were several instances where I was meant to serve as an assistant but ended up stepping into the role of teacher. Eventually, I realized God was calling me to fully commit, rather than pulling back. After a season of prayer and fasting, I felt a clear calling to volunteer for the position of children’s ministry leader, a role I will begin in January.

Even now, I have moments where I don’t feel like showing up, or I fear I won’t succeed in my new leadership role. In those moments, I remind myself that obedience requires trust, not confidence, and that God’s plan is greater than my doubts. While waiting for my disability decision, there were times I was tempted to stop believing or even stop going to church altogether, but I chose to remain faithful. Obedience reshaped my faith by showing me that when we follow God’s plan, we begin to see not only His strength at work, but the capacity He’s placed within us to do His will.

My definition of “blessing” has shifted, focusing less on tangible things, such as money, and more on the spiritual blessing of understanding true obedience and what it means to walk in God’s purpose for our lives. Surrender has reshaped my desires in ways I didn’t expect, and now my deepest desire is simply to please God rather than pursue my own plans. Sometimes we all need to step back and refocus the lens of our lives, turning our attention away from the physical and toward what God is doing in our lives spiritually.

I’m learning that giving up control isn’t losing direction, it’s allowing God to take the lead.